


it's okay if you run out of breath, no one will blame you

by guanlin



Series: never wipe tears without gloves [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A little, BUT the ending is so nice i swear, But also, Fluff, ITS SO, LET ME TELL YOU, M/M, a sprinkle, also kind of an academy au, and also a hellevator au, assassins!au, but - Freeform, but no assassinations are made, i honestly cannot explain, of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 12:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13100544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guanlin/pseuds/guanlin
Summary: “Congratulations,” their Command says and anger begins to simmer low in his stomach, the only thing keeping him from throwing himself at the older man is Felix’s grip on his hand, “I know that that was hard for you, and I know that you might be feeling some anger towards us now but please trust me when we say we do all of this for a reason.”or, alternatively:They’re a team of nine, born and raised into the Tsujigiri programme - a set of elite children carefully selected and groomed to become the best team of government-trained assassins the world has ever seen.





	it's okay if you run out of breath, no one will blame you

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i'm back! the work title is from the song 'breathe' by Lee Hi, written by our angel Jonghyun (rest in peace, you did well my love). heads upping you, there is some violence and kind of optical illusions/deception that makes changlix believe the rest of stray kids are dead so just warning you of that ALSO the riddle that Changbin is given to solve is an actual riddle created by GCHQ (the people that solved the enigma code in WW11) so if you Want to have a go at it you can??? the answers at the end just in case but lmao i couldn't do it so a massive good luck to you. pls enjoy reading!

This is the worst test they’ve had to do. Changbin knows it and Felix knows it and so does Command, who’s staring down at them from the observation room. Around them, their usual all-white test room has been transformed into something sleek and black, the usual yellow-white strips of lighting turned into sleek silver balls of light. Felix doesn’t speak to him when they’re in the prep room, simply choosing to select his bow and arrow and sling the quiver over his shoulder. He’s tense, Changbin can see it from the way his shoulders square up at the back, see the muscles in his back tighten up through his black training shirt. He considers reaching for him, working a hand into the knots of his shoulders but decides against it, concluding that seeing Felix flinch away from him would be worse than seeing him all worked up. 

“Don’t worry, Felix-ie,” he says, voice uncharacteristically soft as he picks up his own sword, “It’s just a test.”

Felix turns to him, anxiety clear in the way his eyes are shiny and wild, pupils blown a little larger than usual. He takes a deep breath, hand shaky on the hand-hold of his bow whilst Changbin watches him. 

“Okay?” he presses, “Don’t overthink it.”

Felix holds his gaze a little longer, eyes searching for any signs of dishonesty, of fear but he maintains a steady look despite the anxiety beginning to fester in the pit of his stomach. Their tests have never been outright horrible but they’ve literally been raised to be clever and perceptive and pick up emotions and their Command has been acting awfully on edge lately. Everyone has noticed it, and the dorms have been inexplicably tense these past few days. The younger boy finally breaks their stare and nods, breathing out loudly through his mouth. Changbin grabs a few extra knives from the armoury table and shoves them into his weapon belt, absentmindedly grabbing a few arrows as well because he knows Felix always underestimates how many he’ll need. The digital clock on the wall flickers on, the red letters reading 1:00 as they begin their countdown. The red light bleeds ominously into the wall behind. He and Felix take position at the entrance door, which will move to the side when the countdown is up. Felix reaches out to him and squeezes his hand. It’s warm, comforting. He thinks maybe this won’t be that bad, after all.

 

They’re not alone in this - they never have been. They’re a team of nine, born and raised into the _Tsujigiri_ programme - a set of elite children carefully selected and groomed to become the best team of government-trained assassins the world has ever seen. Changbin doesn’t remember having a life before Tsujigiri, not like Felix or Chan do. The story spun to him was that he was born in prison, and was removed from his mother before the guards could kill him and brought here. He gets a little sad about it sometimes, but then remembers that if they hadn’t have brought him away from his mother, he would be dead, and without the rest of the Tsujigiri kids. As well as the team of nine, inside of it they have _accessories,_ a set of two or three of the Tsujigiri kids that are put into special intense training together to form both a physical and mental bond. They take academic lessons together, hand-to-hand combat lessons together, solve puzzles together. Essentially, the government have assured that they love each other probably more than they should, know each other inside out and that their teamwork is in the best condition it can be.In battle, accessories can be tuned to each other’s thoughts and movements to ensure a more accurate and effective fight and when solving puzzles or riddles, they can share clues and ideas a lot more accurately than those who aren’t accessories could. When Changbin was ten and Felix was nine, they’d taken them to the government private hospital, put them in those horrible scratchy gowns and places a corresponding chip in their brains that meant they could talk to each other telepathically. It had been a huge technological breakthrough, and Changbin remembers the excitement of the technician that had been monitoring the chips success when Felix had widened his eyes and nodded that _yes, I can hear hyung in my head_. He can still feel Felix’s small hand in his, a little clammy from nerves as Changbin was taken away for his operation. He remembers hugging Felix close to him and patting his head clumsily. 

“ _I’ll be fine,”_ he had whispered, “ _We’re both going to be fine.”_

 

The timer reaches single digits and Felix finally lets go of his hand to get a better purchase on his bow, seamlessly loading an arrow. Changbin draws out a knife, long and silver, the blade glinting menacingly. The door slides back into the ridges into the wall and they finally get a look at the set of the mission. Their training room is part of specially developed technology that means a setting can be designed and instantly implemented into the room. They’ve had deserts, icecaps, war zones and even the ocean before but they’ve never had anything as simple as this. In front of them is what looks to be the skeleton of an old derelict building. They’re in an open space, a circle in the middle and when Changbin looks up, the oval continues upwards until it hits the roof, as if the middle section of the building had been removed, leaving only the outer walls behind. Him and Felix exchange a look. 

“ _Apartments_?” Felix questions in English and Changbin simply shrugs, spinning around in a circle to make sure there’s nothing lurking in the shadows of the outer walls. The door has closed behind them, blending so seamlessly into the setting that Changbin wouldn’t even realise it was there if he didn’t know better. The floor is a dusty grey colour and Felix’s footsteps are silent when he moves further into the middle to investigate because of the dust on the floor. The other boy still has a loaded arrow, bowstring pressed into the hard lines of his shoulder. His eyes are alert as he scans the area and Changbin finds himself getting distracted. 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Felix says and Changbin is broken from his trance, jumping a little at the sound of Felix’s deep voice, “Were these here before?”  
Changbin almost jumps again at the site of two old school computer monitors in the middle of the room, facing away from each other a couple of metres apart. Changbin decides it’s probably safer to start speaking through their telepathy. 

_No_ , he tells Felix and they make eye contact a second. Felix’s bow hangs by his side as he makes his way over to the monitor nearest him cautiously. Changbin watches him, ready to launch into action at the slightest hint that something is wrong. When Felix reaches out a hesitant hand to tap at the keyboard and nothing happens, Changbin releases a long breath and makes his way over to the free monitor. 

_It’s just a puzzle_ , Felix tells him, voice echoing around his head. They’ve been doing this long enough to for it to not be strange anymore but Changbin remembers when they first got a hold on it and he _hated_ it. He hated the idea of Felix knowing what he was thinking, being able to read his thoughts. 

 

He’s right, it _is_ just a puzzle, and Changbin’s confusions heighten. Maybe Command acting weird was just double bluffing, maybe the fact that he was acting strange _was_ the test. Changbin presses a couple of keys on the keyboard and the screen springs to life, pasting a riddle in thick white letters against a black background. The cursor blinks at him mockingly. Immediately, his mind sets to work, he shares the riddle with Felix just to get a second opinion as Felix shares the numbers he’s trying to input into an algorithm to solve his _own_ puzzle. It’s hard, sure, probably one of the hardest they’ve ever done but it just seems so _easy_. Changbin can’t help but be on edge. Felix stops speaking in his head halfway through the number forty-nine and his eyes flicker to a space behind Changbin’s shoulder. He appears shocked for a second and then just confused. Changbin is about to look but from behind Felix he sees Woojin, as in Tsujigiri Woojin appear from another door that disappears back into the concrete wall. Confusion floods him, was this a team mission and he and Felix were misinformed. He and Felix move to stand next to each other and he settles a hand against the small of Felix’s back as they watch the rest of their seven members file into the room through various entrances. Chan, their leader, is smiling at them and Changbin smiles confusedly back. 

_What’s going on_? Felix asks him and Changbin can only shrug against the other boy’s shoulder, smiling hesitantly back at Jeongin, their youngest.

 

Chan opens his mouth to speak but suddenly his eyes are widening in what looks like fear. Immediately, Changbin and Felix jump into action, weapons out and ready to take out whatever it is that’s threatening their family but when they spin all the way around, there’s nothing there. Felix says as much in his head. 

_I know,_ he manages to reply, perplexed at the look of pure terror that’s made its way onto their whole teams faces now. His heart is beating faster now, body temperature heightening at the site of his friends scared and defenceless. His heart aches at the sight of Jeongin cowering backwards and Felix is shouting over to Chan and Woojin and eventually anyone, asking them what’s wrong, what’s there but none of them seem to hear or if they do, they ignore them. Changbin is about to approach them, grab them by the shoulders and make them look at him when he sees Chan double over and suddenly the building, previously silent besides their heavy breathing, explodes into chaos. There are shouts and screams of pain and the concrete floor is stained red from blood. Changbin automatically shoves Felix behind him, keeping him between his arms just in case whatever hurt their friends is here to hurt them, too. Somehow, he doesn’t think so. They’re all on the floor now, writhing in pain and Changbin’s heart is cracking open, he’s itching to run to them, to help them and he can feel Felix’s hand gripping his upper arm hard enough that he knows it’s going to leave a bruise. His friends are _dying_.

“Hyung,” Felix whimpers from behind him, close enough for Changbin to feel his breath against his neck, “Hyung, they’re dying.”  
Changbin knows. He knows that they’re dying and he also knows that there’s seven of them and two of he and Felix. They can’t save them all. A tear runs down his cheek and his chest is aching at the sight of his friends in pain. He can feel Felix shaking against his back and all he can think is _please don’t let them hurt him_. He pats at Felix’s hand on his shoulder, tells him _help who you can_ before rushing over to Jeongin’s side. 

 

The boy is laying crumpled against the wall, skin turned an ashen, dusty grey.  
“Jeongin-ie,” Changbin murmurs, placing his hand on the boys cheeks to tilt his head upwards. Jeongin’s crying, cheeks wet with his tears and Changbin’s heart breaks a little more at the sight of it. His hands are shaking, frantic as he attempts to wipe the blood trickling from Jeongin’s mouth away. The front of his shirt is ripped clean through, and there’s a constant blood flow from his stomach. Changbin identifies it as a stab wound and knows even from looking at it that it’s too deep, that he’s lost too much blood to survive it now. He presses his hand against the wound anyway, and he sobs when Jeongin’s bloodied hand comes to wrap around the one he still has propped against his cheek. 

“Come on, Jeongin-ie,” he murmurs, “Come on, just stay with me.”

Jeongin doesn’t react, just lets his eyes slip closed. He lets a couple more tears slip before he sniffs, takes a deep breath and let’s go of Jeongin. He stands up, about to go and see if it’s possible to save anyone else but as soon as he turns away from Jeongin, the lightbulb above his head shatters, glass raining down onto him. He feels the shards nick at the skin of his face and immediately ducks, arms coming to rest over his head. 

“Felix!” he shouts because it’s completely dark now and he can’t see around, can’t see _anything_. The air smells of blood, rich and coppery and the cuts on Changbin’s face are trickling down his neck now. He doesn’t get a reply and the fear in him multiplies tenfold. 

“Felix!” he tries again and he’s screaming now, becoming hysterical because he _can’t_ lose him, he just can’t. 

 

It’s completely silent in the room now apart from his heavy breathing, the crunch of glass underfoot as he attempts to gauge his whereabouts. His breathing is ragged now, each one spiking pain into his chest. Tears are pricking at his eyes again and he’s trying hard not to cry, not to let it taint his thinking. 

_Felix_ , he tries in his head but he can tell that it’s not going through. There’s an empty feeling in his mind that he hasn’t felt for a long time, since he was ten and holding Felix’s hand in a hospital corridor. He feels as if the world is collapsing around him and his hands are shaking so much he can’t even hold his weapon anymore, instead letting it fall to the floor beneath him. A single light flicks on, halfway across the room, illuminating the puzzle monitor and…something else. It’s Felix, knees pressed to the floor, hands behind his back. Changbin’s sigh of relief is audible and he swears he’s never been so happy in his life but before he can run to Felix, sweep him into a hug and never let him go, something appears behind Felix. A figure in shadows presses the barrel of a gun against the side of Felix’s head, and Changbin’s breath stutters in his throat. Felix whimpers, eyes big and wide as they stare into Changbin’s own. The pain is like a physical thing, and it’s the worst thing he’s ever felt. 

“Changbin hyung,” Felix gasps out and the figure presses the barrel of the gun harder against his head. He whimpers again, “Hyung, help me.”

He’s never felt fear like this before. He scrambles up from the floor and is about to make his way to Felix, to try and save him when he speaks again. 

“He’s gonna kill me, hyung,” he says, a tear slipping down his cheek. 

Changbin stops in his tracks. Felix has never been able to say the korean word ‘kill’, just chooses to say it in english or use a synonym but _never_ has he been able to pronounce it that seamlessly, without stuttering.He’s breathing deeply, but a little calmer than before and the reality that this is a _test_ , this is just another evaluation. Why would they kill off the best killing team in the whole world for the sake of a test? _It’s just a test,_ that’s what he told Felix before they entered this room. _It’s not real._ His eyes flicker to the puzzle monitor, the cursor still blinking from where he’d abandoned it what felt like years ago. He looks back at ‘Felix’, still staring up at him pleadingly. It still hurts, but he’s sharper, more aware now and he knows that even if this is Felix, solving the puzzle might save him anyway. He knows it’s a little thing to go off, knows that it’s a risk to turn his back against the other boy in case he _is_ real, and does get shot but he’s been trained to be clever, to see things other people don’t and he has a hunch that this is what happens. 

 

He approaches the monitor and crouches down in front of it, attempting to ignore the throbbing in his chest at the sight of Felix, seconds away from dying. He can’t even bring himself to think about the real Felix, about where he is now, all he can do is force his brain to focus on the puzzle, in solving it to get them, the _both_ of them, out of this. His hands are shaking when he places them on the keyboard. Suddenly, Felix’s whimpers increase dramatically into shouts and he sounds so broken, so _pain-filled_ that the ends of Changbin’s fingers tingle with the need to hold him and he can’t resist turning around, because he just _has_ to see his face. Felix is the reason he does everything nowadays, the reason he gets out of bed, the reason he trains as hard as he does - so they can make it _together._ He’s strong but not strong enough to resist the person he loves most in the world - never has been. He turns, expecting to see Felix screaming but instead sees him close to silent, mouth moving and shaping his name constantly but the shouts are still happening, rolling over into sobs now. They’re definitely Felix as well, Changbin would know his voice anywhere, know it in silence or from a distance or at a whisper in a room full of shouts so _where_ is it coming from? He considers just ignoring it, solving the puzzle and getting him out but he can’t, not when he thinks these are the real Felix, not when his screams are so full of pain. He’s never had to hear Felix like this - frantic and pain-filled and he never wants to, just wants the loud Felix, the annoying Felix back to him. From the meagre amount of light given off of the one bulb illuminating fake Felix, he can sort of make out the floor, so he removes his hands from the keyboard and draws a weapon, attempting to follow the shouts. He makes it a couple of metres forward and then runs into resistance. At first, he jumps back, thinking it was a person and immediately points his weapon but on further inspection finds that it’s some sort of wall, smooth and cold to the touch. Glass. This definitely wasn’t here before, either. He traces it with his hand, all the way across the diameter of the room, there’s no ridges indicating doors or cracks. It splits the whole room in half. Changbin concludes that Felix is on the other side. 

 

He’s at a loss of what to do to reach him. Something tells him that they have to solve their puzzles in order to pass the test but he can still hear Felix’s heartbroken sobs, hear him pleading for him and he has to suck in another startled breath because this is his _worst nightmare._ He tries reaching out to him through telepathy again but he thinks Felix’s mind is too scattered to pick up the connection - that or someone’s blocking their connection. He realises that if he can hear Felix, then odds are that he’s going to be able to hear him and he kicks himself for being so stupid. He scrambles to place his hands against the glass, smacking them against it so hard that his palms ache. He rubs his throat raw screaming for Felix until _eventually,_ the crying stops. 

“Felix!” he shouts, “Felix! C’mon Felix-ie, it’s me! Hyung is here.”

It’s silent for a moment. 

“Changbin?” he hears Felix shout back and he laughs in relief, body tired, “Changbin-hyung?”

“Felix!” he shouts again, and he can hear faint rustling and then suddenly there’s a hand smacking against the glass, making him pull back in alarm. Felix’s voice is a lot clearer when he speaks this time. 

“Changbinnie-hyung,” he says, voice shaky and from the shitty lighting, he can barely make out Felix’s features, eyes swollen from crying. This isn’t the first time he’s been struck with Felix’s beauty. 

“I’m here,” he says hastily, pressing his hand up against the glass where Felix’s own hand is settled on the other side, “Hyung is here, Felix, don’t worry.”

Felix is crying again now, shoulders shaking as he leans his forehead against the glass, and he looks so tiny like this that Changbin wants nothing else than to gather him into his arms and protect him forever. 

“You were dead,” Felix sobs, “You were dead and I couldn’t save you!”

Changbin’s heart pangs at the sheer defeat in Felix’s voice.

“I know,” he says as soothingly as can with the shake in his voice, “Don’t cry baby, I know, I’m here now, okay?”

When Felix doesn’t reply, he presses “Okay?”

The boy nods, and Changbin hears him suck in a deep breath. Jeongin’s blood is still on his hands and he shivers at the sight of it, stomach sinking. 

“Listen, we have to - I _think_ we have to solve the puzzles to get out of here. I know it’s hard, but we’ve almost made it, now, love, okay? We just need to solve the puzzles and we’ll be okay.”

Felix lets out another weak sob and Changbin has never hated this glass wall more. Felix nods, takes another deep breath and pulls himself away from the glass wall. 

“Alright,” he says aloud but Changbin thinks he’s saying it more to himself than he is to him, “Okay.”

Changbin stands up slowly, eyes on Felix as he slowly backs away from the wall. Fake Felix is still calling out his name behind him, more frantically now but he can’t bring himself to look, can only focus on solving the riddle. He can’t imagine how hard it is for Felix right now, stuck there with a simulation of Changbin’s dead body. He’d go crazy if he were in that position with Felix. 

 

He taps in a couple of keys and deletes them again, hands still shaking. He tries to focus, but it’s hard with the person you love most in the world literally shouting your name in pain. He focuses on the real Felix instead, on getting them out of here. He hears him groan in frustration. 

“You good?” he asks, voice a little louder than it would normally to combat the huge glass wall between them. 

“Yeah I’m just…your dead body is literally behind me,” Felix replies with a sigh. 

“I know it’s hard,” he says, “You just need to… _we_ just need to do this now so we can leave.”

Felix doesn’t reply, but Changbin can hear him breathing, still heavy. The writing on his monitor taunts him. 

 

**EXPLAIN THE FOLLOWING:**

  1. ******TB/SBM, SK**
  2. ******SA/SL, TK**
  3. ******NL/TGC, PP**
  4. ******RD/M, TH**
  5. ******CFTD/TDA, JLC**
  6. ******DADOES/BR, PKD**



 

Changbin _knows_ this, his literal purpose on this earth is to do stuff like this - fight, solve riddles, be with Felix. That’s all he knows how to do. He wracks his brains until finally, _finally_ he thinks he might have it. He double checks it, triple checks it and finally types it in, trying to avoid looking at the red staining his skin, the bloody finger marks left on his wrist from Jeongin’s hands. He presses the enter button and the screen flickers to a blue until two words in green appear emblazoned across the screen: _touchstone complete_. Changbin has no idea what that means and finds that he doesn’t really care, all he cares about is Felix, solving his puzzle and getting him out of there. 

“Mines done,” he shouts over, “How are you getting on?"  
“Almost there,” Felix tells him distractedly, voice still a little strained at the edges. 

Changbin finally allows himself to loosen up a bit and it’s then that he realises fake Felix’s whimpers have stopped and when he turns around, he finds him gone, along with the shadowy figure that was behind him. All that’s left of the scene is a silver gun, laying against the floor. Changbin swallows and looks away. 

“Okay,” Felix says, “I’m done.”

“Did you press enter?” Changbin asks him. 

 

Felix doesn’t get time to answer because the glass wall explodes outwards, showering the both of them in yet another bout of broken glass. Changbin crouches behind the monitor, hands over his head in protection. When the final shards land, he sucks in a breath. 

“ _God_ ,” he hears, and his heart soars, “Why do they keep doing that?” 

Changbin laughs despite the situation, so wide his cheeks hurt because he’s simply so relieved. He straightens up and Felix is standing there, a little bruised and battered, covered in blood and he’s not smiling but he’s _there_ , alive and relatively well and the door they entered in sliding open is all that stops him from rushing over and kissing Felix right there. At the entrance is their Command, a smile on his face but Changbin can see the guilt in the dark lines of his face, in his eyes. He and Felix glance at each other and Changbin nods, once, just barely. Together they make their way towards the exit. Changbin notices that the bodies of the rest of the Tsujigiri kids are gone, too and he’s feeling more and more relieved as the seconds pass. He and Felix meet in the middle, and Felix brushes their shoulders together as they walk. If their Command notices them holding hands tight enough for their knuckles to turn white, he doesn’t say anything. When they glance at each other, Felix offers him a weak smile and for now, it’s enough. 

“Congratulations,” their Command says and anger begins to simmer low in his stomach, the only thing keeping him from throwing himself at the older man is Felix’s grip on his hand, “I know that that was hard for you, and I know that you might be feeling some anger towards us now but please trust me when we say we do all of this for a reason.”

Changbin can see Felix nodding from the corner of his eye but doesn’t repeat the action, simply stares stonily at their Command. 

“You have passed that mission with flying colours, as usual,” he says kindly, “And you’ll be having a break for a while before you have to continue your training and your tests, since this test has proven to be perhaps more psychologically tolling than the rest of your tests.”

Felix nods again, thanking him quietly. 

“I _am_ sorry,” he says again and Changbin knows that he’s telling the truth but he can’t find it in himself to forgive him yet, the image of Jeongin bleeding out stuck to the back of his eyelids. The man turns to leave, but Felix stops him with a hand on his arm. 

“The rest of them…” he begins and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights, “That was all fake too, right?”

The man offers Felix a kind smile, patting the hand that’s still on his sleeve. 

“Yes,” he says, “The rest of your group are doing just fine.”

Felix smiles, relieved and Changbin relaxes instantly as the man leaves, the door clanging shut behind him. 

 

Felix lets go of his hand when the other boy moves to place his bow and arrows back on the weapons table to be cleaned and Changbin sees that his hands are stained red as well. He can’t help but question, now, whether it’s even blood at all. Felix still has a tremor in his hands and Changbin watches as he grips the edges of the table and leans forward, head hanging between his shoulder blades. When Changbin begins to see his shoulders shake, he moves forward, quietly placing his weapons into the box as he watches Felix out of the corner of his eye. When he’s done, he moves to face him. He doesn’t have to speak, just opens his arms a little and let’s Felix fall into him. He lowers them both to the ground and tucks Felix into his lap, arms wrapped protectively around him. He feels so small and delicate shaking in his arms like the cruelness of the world finally got to him and this is the greatest grief Changbin has ever had to bear - that he couldn’t keep Felix safe. He rubs circles into Felix’s back as he sobs, rocking him ever so slightly. 

“It’s alright,” he murmurs into his hair, “You’re allowed to cry, just let it all out.”  
Felix rests his head on his shoulder, hands all bunched up into Changbin’s shirt and he’s been in love with this boy since he was ten years old. Felix pulls away, eyes red rimmed and puffy and Changbin cannot get over how beautiful he is. He reaches up to push Felix’s hair from his face and the other boy is in his lap now, legs either side of his hips. 

“Look at you,” he murmurs, voice a little lower than normal and he’d never say this under any other circumstances but the adrenaline in his veins makes him braver than he usually would be, “ _God…_ you’re amazing.”

He can feel Felix’s breath stutter against his own chest and suddenly they’re gazing at each other and it’s completely natural when they pull each other forward to press their mouths together. 

 

It’s frantic, the kiss, a little bit messy due to the fact that Felix had literally been crying a few seconds beforehand but Changbin loves it all the same, one hand on Felix’s waist and the other curled into his hair, tugging just a little bit. The weight of Felix on his lap is both familiar and unfamiliar and Changbin tilts his head a little to kiss him deeper, runs his tongue over the seam of Felix’s lips until his mouth falls open. Felix is shivering in his arms when Changbin pulls away from his mouth and he moans a little bit when Changbin bites at his lip as he does. He kisses down his jaw, down his neck and mouths at Felix’s adams apple before doing it all again as he makes his way back up. When he and Felix are face to face again, breathing laboured and mouths inches apart, he says it. 

“I love you,” he murmurs, no hesitation because he _does_ love him. He loved him when they met at six, and loved him when they got the operation and loved him when he messed up in the test they did a couple months ago, and when he takes too long in the bathroom. A tear escapes Felix’s eye and rolls down his cheek and Changbin swipes it away with a thumb, cradling Felix’s face in his hands.  
“I love you too,” Felix says, voice rough from all the shouting and possibly all the kissing and then he says it again, “I love you.”

Changbin’s heart swells and he rests his head against Felix’s chest to hide his smile, feeling the other boy run a gentle hand through his hair. 

 

_Touchstone complete_ , whatever that means. 

 

*

 

 

They return to the dorms hand in hand and as soon as they enter, they’re bombarded with questions. Questions about the test, about where they’ve been, about their intertwined hands and why ‘the prince of dark is holding hands with the literal sun’ to quote Jisung but they both just smile at each other, and then at the others and Felix’s cute laugh echoes round his head with a giggly ‘should we tell them?’ and so they do, and everyone cheers and Chan looks like a proud dad with Woojin in his lap. If Jeongin notices that Changbin hugs him harder than he ever has and gets a little tearful when he pulls away, he doesn’t say anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> So there we have it. I created this AU completely from the top of my head so I would understand completely if some people couldn't grasp the concept completely essentially the Tsujigiri (a japanese word meaning 'crossroad killing' - when a samurai is given a new sword and they just randomly kill a passerby with it lol) programme was set up by the government to help deal with MASSIVE criminals and they thought that they could put these kids into the programme literally as soon as they're born and train them up to be the smartest, strongest, best killers there are. So the nine of them grow up together w/ chan and felix joining them pretty early so theyre literally a family and have the nicest bond ever and its really great and as mentioned the accessories are basically subteams (if anyone was wondering, it's felix and changbin, chan and woojin, hyunjin and jeongin and the final three) and essentially they're each other's 'other halves' they spend ALL their time together and have private lessons together etc and obviously have the chip implants so they're the best team ever and are just in love with each other basically its lit and they have monthly assessments. Team assessments which are missions testing team work and chan's leader skills and stuff, solo tests which test speed, agility, smartness ability to solve stuff etc and then accessory tests - these are the hardest they're very mentally straining and they often try to turn them against each other and get them mad at each other to test the strength of their bond its so savage 
> 
> also, for those curious, touchstone is basicaly a cool secret sounding word for 'test', in the story, touchstone is the codename for the Tsujigiri programme. The public kno them as Tsujigiri but staff and government know them as the Touchstone Project
> 
> and finally, the answer to the riddle is as follows:
> 
> the explanation is 'book/film adapted from book, author  
> so the first one is The Body/Stand By Me, Stephen King  
> and so on 
> 
> SO, thank you so much for reading this, i honesrly have no idea whether this is any good because it's a completely new au so thank you for bearing with me if you made it this far. if you've got any further questions, confusions, complaints etc. please contact me on twitter @jinhw101 or tumblr @4gguks
> 
> thank you <3


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